Sunday, June 23, 2013

Top 5 Myths About Writers Which Ain't True

Hey people this is the fifth post of a new weekly series called "Saturday Top 5". I guess the title is self explanatory and anyway, it shall be on a pilot basis. Here's the last post of the series(LINK).Please leave your feedback about the idea and suggestions as well for the next post in the series


As a writer (well sorta), I have often come across strange myths about the art of writing which make no sense whatsoever. For starters, no all of us don’t beg publishers to be kind. No, not all of us wear geek glasses. No, not all of us own typewriters.

So this week, we decided to take on the Top 5 myths about Writers which float the market but are as truthful as Lance Armstrong's drug tests. Here we go

Everyone is a writer

Now that's all bullshit. The market is flooded with tons of books by new authors or what I called "The Chetan Bhagat" effect. Screw 3 Mistakes, the biggest mistake of his life is that he started writing. Now everyone who can spell correctly fancies him/herself as a writer. Online, having a blog is the rage. At least we have the decency to call ourselves bloggers(but hey, we also call ourselves writers, but not exclusively).Anyway, the point remains that just like porn online and  50 Shades of Grey, the world is flooded with "writers". Quick bit of advice. Writing 3 notes on Facebook and tagging your bestfriend ki chachi ke chachu ke bacche ki bhen doesn't make one a writer

Writers are have exquisite grammar and a phenomenal vocabulary

Reality check. Just because we write, it doesn't mean our vocabulary is excellent or our Grammar is impeccable. Why the hell do you think every acknowledgement note carries thanks Microsoft Word? Spell check on MS Word is amazing, fantastic, easy to use, dead helpful(okay don't get me wrong, we’re just friends *blushes like the Hindi film hero who's about to fall in love*). Trust me; we struggle with words as much as an average Chetan Bhagat. I still don't remember if tomorrow is spelt with one r or two m(s). But I remember to scout for the red line under the word

All Bloggers are writers and all Writers are Bloggers


No and No. This is as absurd as calling Twillight a good book. One simply doesn't say that. A person who writes a blog about food recipes is NOT a writer. Similarly, a writer of a newspaper column is not ipso facto a blogger. Fun piece of trivia though-George R.R. Martin, writer of the brilliant fantasy series "A Song of Ice and Fire" IS A BLOGGER. Why you ask? Well because he runs a blog.DUH

We sit all day in front of a laptop, typing away

We do not spend our day hunched over a computer or a laptop, typing away furiously to complete the latest draft, no sir. This isn’t 2005 anymore, grow up people. We own smart phones (well I own a Blackberry which I am not sure of categorising. Is it a phone or a sadistic person who disrupts each important chat with a clock that doesn’t look like one) or tablets. But most importantly, we have the pen and the paper. Ink is simply fabulous. Not to mention, it makes for some really messy stuff

We have read all the great masterpieces of history and can quote them at will

Now this is an interesting one. All writers will seemingly seem to be elite literalists or connoisseurs of Classical works. Truth is that most of them haven’t even read half of the quotes themselves. They rely on good ‘ol Google to get their stuff. So next time you read a writer who quotes Christopher Marlowe, don’t imagine an old fart who twirls his goatee while writing the piece. Imagine some random dude surfing Google, and you’ll have it.

That’s it folks, this is this week’s Saturday top 5. Share and spread the love!


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